It's you I Value
by MeLaNch0LYdreams
Summary: REDUCED spoilers. Watanuki begins to value his existence and after he is beginning to feel an unpaid debt in the look Doumeki gives him...SEQUEL to Among non sense and tragedies. If so then why does Doumeki doubt past feelings?
1. an unfathomable gaze

It's you I value

Chapter 1

Like gravity

_I'm waking up at the start of the end of the world,  
but its feeling just like every other morning before,  
Now I wonder what my life is going to mean if it's gone, _

It had been weeks and much had happened. He ran with his arms full of cooking ingredients and necessities he wanted to teach Kohane how to cook again and ignored the automatic annoyance of having to see **him** again. He sighed in relief when he reached the fortune teller's dwelling but then his breathe caught in his throat. Doumeki held an ancient wooden box and looked at him with an unfathomable expression, a smoky aura swirled around it. They stood locked in their gazes for a a few hard seconds and Doumeki simply walked away. Wat_a_nuki felt really confused and then moved out of his rooted spot

_  
The cars are moving like a half a mile an hour and I,  
started staring at the passengers waving goodbye  
can you tell me what was ever really special about me all this time? _

"Kimihiro-kun?" Kohane asked him in concern, she tied her apron and stole a worried glance at him. He hair braided to get prepared for cooking. Watanuki nodded smiling, _**just a bit shaken **_he could have told her but his reasoning was childish.

_**Because he was looking at me...**_ with those eyes they held more meaning then whenever he had looked him in the eyes before. Probably when they finish cooking then he'll retort something like _**  
'idiot' or 'I want inari sushi' arrogant**_ bastard...He did owe him, but there was something more he could have returned. He just shook his head because of the unknown debt and went to teach his apprentice as the elderly woman that had predicted his future watched him intently. Trying to decipher his thoughts.

_  
But I believe the world is burning to the ground  
oh well I guess we're gonna find out  
let's see how far we've come  
let's see how far we've come  
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end  
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,  
let's see how far we've come  
let's see how far we've come _

"How is it Kohane-chan?" She sampled it with a slightly composed awed face.

"It's alright." then she proceeded to prefect the already delicious looking

"that's right, your doing fine." he praised,

"Your very clever Kohane-chan!" he smiled at her again

"Because your way of teaching is good Kimihiro-kun!"she smiled up at him to compliment him as well

"That's right, your both good kids." The elderly woman stated. She ducked down to inspect the food to divert attention from her words just then

"It looks delicious, seems like you included spinach and meatballs. In a little while you'll be able to To Do anything Kohane-chan." she complimented the girl as well. She blushed and Watanuki smiled at the face she had made. Then he frowned as loud crunching noises sounded in the background

"Damn your munching the rice crackers like a rodent!" He shouted at the dark boy who munched on the sembei noisily.

'I was called." he swallowed simply. Watanuki averted his anger to point out, what he was blaming once again, on nobody's fault:- "It Would've been fine if you hadn't invited this guy Kohane-chan!"

she was currently carrying the tray of fresh food and answered in his direction.

"It's OK, I invited Shizuka-kun. Since I wanted him to eat the food I made." he took the tray from her and stomped off to their eating area.

_  
I think it turned ten o'clock but I don't really know  
then I can't remember caring for an hour or so  
started crying and I couldn't stop myself  
I started running but there's no where to run to  
I sat down on the street, took a look at myself  
said where you going man you know the world is headed for hell  
say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to  
_

"Sheesh! Shizuka-kun is too unfitting! Your a Doumeki!" _you've known me this long you can call me that if you want._ Doumeki had thought. He thought to offer to lighten the mood. It was a habit to try to lessen his screaming.

'Munch' he pulled back when he over reacted again

"you said munch will mouth full didn't you!!" He yelled like an angry on his apron.

"You get along well I see." _Oh we do. _H thought sarcastically,

"It seems all members of the female camp misunderstand!" he cried falling dramatically to the floor. Kohane being the really perceptive one read their expressions and blushed, using that as an excuse for serving food.

"Thank you...for bringing me here." the smallest of smiles graced Kohane's lips.

"What do you have to thank me for?"

"For letting me receive this lovable little miss, the one who has to be grateful to Yuuko-chan is me."

the memories of when the four had talked with Yuuko about her situation flitted to her face before she gave her reasoning.

"Even though your letting me stay here like this and teaching me so many things, I can't give anything back.."

"i told various fortunes, I learned many techniques to see stars and paths. When I die, all would be lost. And I want Kohane-chan to be one to inherit those abilities."

"My and kohane-chan's connection will never end and I've never been so happy." she touched kohane's hand and she smiled.

"thank you." she blushed.

"I'm truly happy too. that I met you."

_  
I believe the world is burning to the ground  
oh well I guess we're gonna find out  
let's see how far we've come (right now)  
let's see how far we've come  
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end  
oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,  
let's see how far we've come  
let's see how far we've come  
_

"Well our hard-earned food will get cold." The mood had brightened until...

"I brought this from the storehouse. I heard you were a drinker." Watanuki looked at him gaping at the sudden outburst of beer.

"So arrogant despite being a minor!" He went off when she answered that a fourth bottle wasn't too much. He got up to make him a lame comment.

"hey, work for a change."

"OK, since I'm taller." he stood with Kohane. Watanuki felt his anger rise again

_  
Its gone gone baby its all gone  
there is no one on the corner and there's no one at home  
well it was cool cool, it was just all cool  
now it's over for me and it's over for you  
well its gone gone baby its all gone  
there's no one on the corner and there's no one at home  
well it was cool cool, it was just all cool  
now it's over for me and it's over for you _

' Just a little!' he flailed measuring an inch with his fingers . The door shut and he fell into his anger. I think.

'He's the boy that you will have nothing but fights with!" the fortune teller had stated now happy that he had found him.

'That's right!' he scrambled up.

"you've become close-'

'Unwillingly!" he denied. It was because he hated that feeling Doumeki gave him when there was always something more that he already had to do for him.

"That's good. It means that you've changed Kimihiro-kun." he fixated a blank glance and smiled as he looked down.

"Changed? Have I?" he asked again.

"You'd know that best of all." he glanced and widened his eyes at the frame before turning away to smile again at her.

"Indeed."

"Yuuko has changed too." she mused,

"Huh?"

"Since she met you Kimihiro-kun."

he stole a glance back to verify what was written in the frame.

'_**the hidden world is a dream, like the truth of a night's memory.'**_

_**-Yuuko.**_

_  
I believe the world is burning to the ground  
oh well I guess we're gonna find out  
let's see how far we've come  
let's see how far we've come  
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end  
oh well, i guess, we're gonna pretend,  
let's see how far we've come, again  
let's see how far we go  
let's see how far we've come  
let's see how far we go  
let's see how far we've come  
let's see how far we go  
let's see how far we've come  
let's see how far we go _

_A/N : _ Hey everyone! How far we've come by Matchbox 20! this is 104 action if you don't undertsand it. Spoilers for chapter 158 until chapter 160. Then comes the original fan work. I will make it last!

_let's see how far we've come +_

_-Yuki_


	2. loving you all at once

It's you I value

_It's you I value_

Chapter 2

Loving you all at once

_**There are certain people you just keep coming back to**_

_**She is right in front of you**_

_**You begin to wonder could you find a better one**_

_**Compared to her now she's in question**_

It hadn't even rained to express the dark mood of the shop. Instead it was a clear day that the shop's inhabitants were just to stressed to notice. . Thoughts only on their bedridden friend.

Doumeki sat in all his lost blood as it slowly gathered in itself. He was exhausted to say the least. But he was relieved as well. The young girl who was the root of Watanuki's affections perched herself by him with a coy smile. The stoic archer could care less where she wanted to be, but it was still partly her fault and he wanted someone to blame since Watanuki wouldn't.

Infact he really just had to leave as quickly as possible to avoid unnecessary pain because something in him just didn't want to move. Against his better judgment he just sat looking like a bloody corpse from a horror movie. The way the events had played was better off like that. He really should leave. The impact would make itself known soon anyway. The _consequence _as he once had put it. Recently.

_**And all at once the crowd begins to sing**_

_**Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_

"Just pretend you don't know about the food k? I know how much Watanuki-kun means to you." How bitterly funny that she was using the last of her dignity to still use his name. His brow tensed with his eyes closed as he scowled unpleasantly. She smiled teasingly from the way he could her poor suppressed snort before she disappeared swiftly when she knew she couldn't handle it. She broke down somewhere for all he knew.

"_**I never should have fell for you Watanuki..." **_he thought to himself pathetically. What could the seer have done to make him so special to the archer? He didn't know about the attractiveness and all-considering that he so called loved a guy. He didn't want to find a lover based on looks for all he cared.

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her**_

_**Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there**_

Watanuki was the last thing many people would have considered his close friend. Because he didn't know why himself. He was _just a boy. _

One boy who's plagued by spirits and demons and suffers.

_**Looking for the right one you line up the world to find**_

_**Where no questions cross your mind**_

_**But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt**_

_**Much longer for you to sort it out**_

He figured he would go on and _**strongly admit the reasons why. **_

_**And all at once the crowd begins to sing**_

_**Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_

He was glad that everything he did annoyed \watanuki to no end. That some times he never wanted to show his gratitude. He preferred it that way. That way he would never want to save him if that were the case.

But that he was. Why he so willingly became His hero, best friend, and his secret admirer so far. He didn't want that to escalate to anything it shouldn't be. It shouldn't be any more romantic than need be.

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her**_

_**Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there**_

_**Maybe you want it, maybe you need it**_

_**Maybe it's all you're running from**_

_**Perfection will not come**_

Why had he crossed Watanuki's dangerous path of life? His pain? It was that rainy day.

_**And all at once the crowd begins to sing**_

_**Sometimes...**_

_**We'd never know what's wrong without the pain**_

_**Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_

There's no such thing as denying it now.

He was the opposite of what Doumeki was seen as.

Expressive, honest, kind, moderately polite, and reluctantly Doumeki had thought. Extremely _**selfless. **_Skilled. Put himself into everything he did. Once again; attractive in some strange way.

He _realized once again; __**more realization. **_Watanuki was giving him a head rush of vocabulary recently!

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her**_

_**Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there**_

_**Maybe you want it, maybe you need it**_

_**Maybe it's all you're running from**_

_**Perfection will not come**_

It donned on him that it was very odd that he was attracted to Watanuki was haha male. Meaning he was a homosexual, but it was Watanuki no doubt.

Worst about Watanuki was that he was lonely. Internally, and would possibly die like that and nobody would know or care. Watanuki would pass on as those restless spirits and demons that he sees.

What he had hated more about Watanuki the **most** of all - The latter hadn't cared about his own safety when he was no longer lonely. He hadn't even tried anymore to keep himself from death. Everybody cared now-

_**Oh, will not come**_

**-No.**

_**Maybe you want her, maybe you need her**_

_**Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another**_

_**To another**_

That's why Doumeki himself was soaked head top toe in his own blood. In a wish granter's shop keeping himself sane by counting Watanuki's breathes. To prevent situations like these from happening.

His and hers. Our efforts.

No matter how much he was madly in love with him now- he wouldn't forgive him if that were to happen.

She died for them. For their happiness but everything she thought him would go to waste then. Her death meant something and it had went ignored. The same thing would not be repeated with this boy. Not ever. She took everything with a straight face. So he would as well.

"I..." The boy's weak voice broke through the intense silence. It overwhelmed him but he kept under control.

A N: WOOT! I am so happy fro completing this aftyera long time! Guaranteed that this is a once in a lifetime update so until then my dears! All at once by the fray. Actually as I promised on my profile. Now reduced spoilers and my ideas!!

_** Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same**_

_**-Yuki**_


	3. among non sense and tragedies

It's you I value

_It's you I value_

Chapter three

The reasons why

_To get my happiness I had done everything,  
but had done nothing to be blamed and accused of.  
The sound of footsteps became louder every day,  
Then I noticed the fact there was no time._

Sometimes I wish I knew why you bothered. You make me scream. I have to make you bentos everyday! You just **have to make my day so much more aggravating! **

If you hadn't kept me alive all these times then I wouldn't have bothered. I owe you but when am I going to admit that?

Why me huh?

Why not disappoint your fan girls and just leave them to save me? You blame the people I love for the reason I'm alive.

So? I care about them and I always will. NOW YOU'RE IN MY DAMN DREAMS!!

_I was a believer in life to be myself always,  
and was asking whether I would be alive._

Thank you. **Thank you.** I won't doubt that I have a reason to go on with life- because people care enough about me to expect I don't get killed in a stupid way. The hero part just scares me. What can I do? I can never help people when I'm the one who's being helped. So catching me when I fall when someone I care about is dying? Greiving?Crying? No.

_Give me a reason why not to adopt in this way,  
or judge me to be guilty of so many incurable sins._

So why do you continuously look at me like that?

_  
Tell me why, or why not. Complaining way too much,  
maybe I overlooked something fatal for me._

_The whole world was at a complete standstill,  
and I was in fetters, at the mercy of the mob.  
The silent warning became louder every day.  
Then I kept pretending not to hear._

_Its meaning had been in the eyes of beholder all along.  
It had grown dark before I found a sign._

I'll admit this: Painfully so, you're my best friend. I care about you too. I'll need you but hopefully not want you.

"_Among the nonsense tragedies, what on earth you are looking for?  
You only have to be honest to yourself and your own fate."  
Tell me why, or why not. Complaining way too much,  
maybe I overlooked something fatal for me._

The boy with bi gold and blue eyes stared at Doumeki underneath the sakura tree where Haruka resided in his dreams. He stood agape as he gazed into the depthless amber eyes.

_There is nobody who knows there will be nobody.  
Except for me, all the world has gone mad._

"This is new?" He replied boredly.

"Is that all your going to say?!" He answered in mock disbelief. Wordlessly Doumeki sat by him.

"My grandfather gave me access. Cause I have something to say." Panic raised in his chest.

Is he going to admit that he isn't going to save me anymore?

_So what is forgiveness you are willing to withhold?  
What is the well-being you are willing to make?  
Now what? So what? Don't you come interrupt me, oh please,  
while I am interrupting myself._

" I just need you. I won't give anything else away." He smiled mockingly before Watanuki threw another fit. Now in relief.


	4. comparing to only contrast

It's you I value

It's you I value

_It's you I value_

Chapter four

There's got to be something she's looking for

_**I walk the line of the disappointed  
I celebrate when I'm in pain  
My heart and mind can be disjointed  
I built a bed in this hole I made  
I recognize that I'm damaged  
I sympathize that you are too  
But I want to breathe without feeling' so self-conscious  
But it's hard when the world's staring' at you**_

It felt very dry and sandy like-everything crumbled if he moved or if he simply took a breathe. The smell promised death and burned his nostrils. His body ached like staying rigid for more than 16 hours and of course it was worth it!

If you couldn't protect one person enough then why not break your back and give away half of your blood to somebody who meant possibly everything about you.

_  
Another piece of the puzzle, that doesn't fit  
you throw your arms up, you're so damn sick of it  
what are you working for  
what are you searching for  
Love_

**She stood out in the middle of the street. Suitcase at her feet, backpack slung over her shoulders. Her black hair barely dangled over her shoulders-thick and rich looking. She looked the size of a 3****rd**** grader, an exaggeration for being 141 cm tall only. Her face cherubic and dark brown, a golden brown pale like pallor. Her eyes the color of dead beer, eyebrows thick and black hiding a beauty mark. Her figure had obviously pointed out that she wasn't exactly a child but the planes of her face and height gave her the childish look. Being only 14 years it was ordinary to let your imagination escape from you and fantasize about the opposite sex but this was different; though I currently stared at her upper body from a distance. I didn't notice girls because of how slender they obsessed upon and how lanky they were and I didn't like their personalities period. So what was so intriguing? She screamed tourist so it was a distant thought for him. She caught him staring and gave an approximation of a lifting of her mouth to then race straight his way. He staggered away.**

_You won't be thinking of cars when  
you're on your death bed and dying'  
You'll only be thinking' of what you are paying for,  
what you are praying for__**  
**__**Love**_

'**What does she possibly need?' And as expected. He was almost 2 heads over her and he noticed she was an insomniac because of how oddly she ran and her eyes hinted at bloodshot and bags rested under them. She looked like a midget 20 year old…with substance in a good way. He kept his face stoic before noticing that she rang her words in Japanese with the right accent and clarity speaking in bits combined with English. **

'**Do you know of the Doumeki **_temple behind you?_**' he realized that he was in front of his own family's temple. He nodded curtly to her. She followed him regardless, looking ignorant toward his confirmation, looking blank and dead despite how enthusiastic her voice sounded. It scared him worse than how he felt when he acted cold like this at school and other places; she was dead on her feet with only her voice working-she even blinked less. This girl was worlds apart from what he was. **

_**You join the line of the getting richer  
you keep your pace but its moving' slow  
you are defined by all that you have hoarded  
But you're surprised it doesn't fill up the hole.**_

_Another piece of the puzzle, that doesn't fit  
you throw your arms up, you're so damn sick of it  
what are you coping for_

what are you hoping for  
Love

**She was a dark sky but called snow she was happy and couldn't prove it; she wasn't capable. She was an unbreakable shell that you could enter through a back door that you could make and couldn't leave but so easily could. Couldn't quit her and couldn't need her. Yuki Kuchiro, a changed name and otaku and a non fiction writer. Ordinary next to extraordinary. She sang but played the guitar poorly and couldn't live without listening to a song. She didn't change me and I didn't want to change her. **

_You won't be thinking of cars when  
you're on your death bed and dying'  
You'll only be thinking' of what you are paying for,  
what you are praying for  
Love__**  
**_

**I found myself listening to her favorite songs over again her singing and guitar playing, reading more often her favorite books before criticizing her choices, try to make her smile, get her to teach me to go deadpan. She adored my grandfather and constantly talked his ear off and rarely blushed. She didn't change and then suddenly she was wiped clean. She died meaninglessly and only her family, I, and one or two distant friends of hers were there at the grave at the desolate highway. Nobody could afford to give her peace after death. There wasn't much of her body.**

_I'll never be what I see on the TV screen  
I just keep dreaming of what I'm never going to be  
I can't think of a better way to waste my time then try_

Another piece of the puzzle, that doesn't fit  
You throw your arms up, you're so damn sick of it  
What are you hurting' for  
What are you searching for  
Love love love  
You won't be thinking of cars when  
You're on your death bed and dying'  
You'll only be thinking' of what you are paying for,  
What you are praying for  
Love love love love

It was 3 years only-and then I found something close.

He was lanky like other girls, had a crap personality with a slightly unique attitude. It was a boy. He had blue eyes that constantly glared and nothing stood out, he was in visible and I regarded him as everyone else-then it rained and I couldn't give anymore reason to involve myself with him

'This is how I'll die. Alone.'

I obsessed over changing that, I discovered he had had no one to relate to and compared to him-I had everything. He wasn't going to die like her.

Because he vaguely liked them that much.

_You won't be thinking' of cars when  
you're on your death bed and dying'  
you'll only be thinking' of what are you working' for,  
what are you waiting' for_

_A/N: _Hi! I haven't included this because I couldn't establish absolute updating times! What are you looking for by Sick puppies! Which I had used in Rising Solstice and this is the girl he constantly talks about an d comapres to Watanuki so thanks guys and c ya next time!

___You won't be thinking' of cars when  
you're on your death bed and dying'  
you'll only be thinking' of what are you working' for,  
what are you waiting' for_

_**-YUKI!**_


	5. lied to me

It's you I value

_It's you I value_

Chapter five

Not as spitefully

_A candle burns away  
The ashes full of lies  
I gave my soul to you  
You cut me from behind_

He wasn't aware at how he looked at Watanuki. It was aggravating. He should have **never** let it slip as she came to know.

" _Doumeki is in love with a BOY_!" she sing sang in english. He gritted his teeth to her response.

"_Send me pictures! And I am confronting your-oh-so-dangerous!" _he liked it better when she hadn't made friends with those loud mouth bullies or **friends** she made in Canada. It was a strange change.

"_Angel, I know you think I'm being a loudmouth bitch but this is every fan girl's dream come true, next to raping your admirer/" _He blached inwardly. He didn't think like that, but now that you mention it….He shook off his perverted thoughts.

" Asa, there better be a good fucking reason that I won't rip your head off."

" _Oh Dear Gasp! I am so scared of Mr.emo archer! He's going to kill me with my deadpan glares and love for blue eyed japanses boys."_

A growl builded in my chest

_Don't act like an angel  
You've fallen again  
You're no superhero  
I've found in the end_

_So lie to me once again  
And tell me everything will be alright  
Lie to me once again  
And ask yourself before we say good bye  
Well good bye  
Was it worth it in the end?_

"I feel like saving him after knowing him for 3 weeks and you think I;m madly in love?"

"_Don't act like an angel. You've fallen in love."_

"Then I'll rise above."

"_And abandon your hope_?"

This felt liek that exam where they thow random words at you and you utter what comes to mind. It sounded like they were reciting a joined poem. This being gay rubs off on you when your BFF's a hot girl that you can't get your hands on. Ok not hot but a great body that isn't so appealing anymore. She changed the subject when she noted my long silence dragged on.

"_Your coming to my grad k? Or I'll fly here and drag you myself, I'll be looking hot and I need somebody to oggle."_

She was conviced she was unappealing in Canada, Hey I'd take her if she didn't deny me and my gay prefernce in the bastard of a cutie…Ok tat was wrong.

_So lie to me once again  
And tell me everything will be alright  
Lie to me once again  
And ask yourself before we say good bye  
Well good bye  
Was it worth it in the end?_

You said you were there for me  
You wouldn't let me fall  
All the times I shared with you  
Were you even there at all?

He stepped into the mixed faces of the airport with a fine looking suit. People ignored him, the buzz of foreigners from many different countries flooded the hauge space. Nobody could find him and he knew it wouldn't be too long.

"SHIIIIIIIIIZUUUUUUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she yelled in her pretty voice. She was mistaked for a younger child all the time. I turned to confirm her suspicions. Her eyed dark brown and bright from the distance, her hair was like still short but intricately designed, she wore purple stable looking heels, a dark blue dress with gold print twisting and glittering from the bottom of her dress. It was short sleeve and she wore a sash with similar gold print. She wore light make up and she leaned way too far from the lifts. He could feel his eyes bulge as well in disbelief, at her beauty and stupidy.

_Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide  
You're scared of the truth, I'm tired of the lies  
Cause who I am  
Is where you want to be_

Don't act like an angel  
You've fallen again  
You're no superhero  
I've found in the end

" _I Lied!" she yelled, and a bloody mess met the white pristien floor. He dropped to his knees. The hot stimg of tears already wetted his face, nobody called for an ambulance for half an hour until he ran around screaming. _

_So lie to me once again  
And tell me everything will be alright  
Lie to me once again  
And ask yourself before we say good bye  
Well good bye  
Was it worth it in the end?_

Why'd you have to up and run away  
A million miles away  
I want to close my eyes and make believe  
That I never found you

_Just when I put my gaurd away  
It's the same old story  
You left me broken and betrayed  
It's the same old story_

Don't act like an angel  
You've fallen again  
You're no superhero  
I've found in the end

So lie to me once again  
And tell me everything will be alright  
Lie to me once again  
And ask yourself before we say good bye  
Well good bye  
Was it worth it in the end?

Lie to me once again  
It's the same old story  
Lie to me once again  
It's the same old story

_** . Was it worth it in the end?**_

_**The only thing she lied about was living.**_


	6. pretty girl slash pretty boy

It's you I value

_It's you I value_

Chapter six

Pretty girl rejects hopeless boy

_Pretty girl is suffering,  
while he confesses everything  
Pretty soon she'll figure out  
what his intentions were about_

**What was the best/worst person that had affected your life? Write in red pen if this gets too personal. Multiple paragraphs or subjects are welcome.**

He put down the black pen that barely had any ink left. No matter how personal he submitted his entries. The topic rang a loud annoying bell-no alarm in his mind. He eyed the red pen and the other student's eyes perceived this. Can they mind their own damn business?

The deadpan archer's eye's swept the blank page and began to write. Already 3 paragraphs were written to separate the causes. His first instinct was to write about Yuki, but instead, Watanuki.

_And that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him outta your head  
and that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him outta your head_

_**There's a boy that nobody notices. He puts effort into what he does, and I wondered if there is anybody who copes with more than daily life. I regarded him in the rain. He admitted it to nobody in particular. How lucky I was to pass by him, and involve myself in his life.' This is how I'll die. Alone'. How much that reminds me of that other person.**_

_**  
It's the way that he makes you feel  
it's the way that he kisses you  
it's the way that he makes you fall in love**_

_I occasionally almost gave up my life so many times for him. I am glad he isn't grateful those times I save his ass because it'd get romantic. Yes, he's male. Yes she's dead. Yes I am taking this shamelessly. Am I at fault to not have to express myself once in a while? To not have to act like something I'm not? I'm writing like he would react on a daily basis. It's almost disturbing because this is who he is. How I could be. _

_**She's beautiful as usual  
with bruises on her ego and  
her killer instinct tells her to  
be aware of evil men**_

_**I loved her and I loved him. I wanted her and I still want him. I watched her die, and nobody cared. The grounds were littered in blood, some went into shock but nobody had done anything. I went into wild shock, I screamed, I threw a fit, I cried, and couldn't stop. They demanded for me to calm down. They did nothing. The excuse was that her skull had fractured once and couldn't be repaired a second time. I couldn't live with myself when I saw the copied scene not to long ago. He looked broken beyond repair. I didn't have the time to compare and she replaced the screaming of my own. This was picture perfect in the sickest way. Love him so much that I can't lose him no more.**_

_And that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him outta your head  
and that's what you get for falling again  
you can never get him out of your head _

_Pretty girl  
Pretty girl  
Pretty girl is suffering  
while he confesses everything  
pretty soon she'll figure out  
you can never get him outta your head_

its the way that he makes you cry  
its the way that he's in your mind  
its the way that he makes you fall in love 

_**The other worst? She rejected me a few years back**_

_**Swear to god, if this is submitted to any godamn fucking writing contest than I will drop this class.**_

_**.**_

_**Doumeki Shizuka**_

_It's the way that he makes you feel  
it's the way that he kisses you  
it's the way that he makes you fall in love, love_

_A/N: _Whew! Pretty Girl by Sugarcult and

I've been in school and (studied) for once. While earning my same high school worthy English grades! I am bragging but I am going to high school and taking my English skills with me in the future. Also, I hadn't highlighted this in previous chapter but that was REAL. Not a dream. And When Doumeki says 'Asa' he nicknames her that. Why? I heard Asa means morning in japo and he calls her that rather than snow, 'Yuki'. Most of all, I really am bragging but Yuki is ME! Isn't it obvious? I mean it. My name is Yuki khan/Bushra Nasrin Khan. As opposed to pet names or English names or other world names or whatever the hell I rambled to begin with…

**Special thanks too!-**

**20eKUraN08**

**StubbornTenshi**

**Xlirealx**

**Anyjyen**

**MyDearGoddessofthemoonandsun**

**And...**

**DeathFrost**

For reading among non sense and tragedies, and it's you I value as fans of this story! Thanks to Anyjyen for the helpful comments and xlirealx for asking for the clarification she wanted. Comments, critical or kind are needed and welcome!


	7. Tonight let him cry

_It's you I value_

_A/N: _Hi Guys! Btw, no song this chapty and thanks for xlirealx for the comment on Doumeki's parting comment in his journal. In our class, we write journal entries with red pen if it's personal to us, and the teacher skips out on us. My red pen bleeds through pages so most of it is revealed. Doumeki picked up on that from me XD. How surprised you will be this chapter!

Chapter seven

Broken words across the page

**Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine  
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walkin' away**

"Doumeki-kun! Please be reasonable, we haven't seen entries such as these in _years." _

He took back his sleeve that had been grabbed by the lit teacher. He glared at the teacher with fiery gold eyes,

"No." he said gravely and slowly, using the full extent of his height to straighten himself in a 'no-way-am-I-going-to-let-you-do-this' position.

The fat man with oily slick hair shivered in his tight suit. He was stupid enough to continue.

"This isn't something local nor public, rather private for this town and its low funded with all the rare entries and all, they usually enter to miss school." He rambled hopelessly. Doumeki began to feel guilty-it hadn't shown.

"You don't have to let anybody know…" he continued as I ducked my head, contemplating rather than stressed.

"When?" his monotone answer replied. He didn't want to see the teacher's expression.

"Next Wednesday! That entry doesn't have to be submitted."

**Obviously.**

But how am I going to write the most wonderful entry over a fortnight?

**I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry**

"I got my entry submitted for this contest! The lit teacher already done it but it's embarrassing, he didn't even ask my permission! I'll be away Next Wednesday." Watanuki conversed with Himawariu who nodded and giggled. As he snatched an onigiri from the spirit seers bentou. He almost dropped it. **Crap.** He thought to himself.

"How did you do with your entry Doumeki." Himawari just had to draw attention didn't she?

Watanuki glared at the stolen rice ball he held. He bit into it anxiously,

"Same old same old." Watanuki smirked at that.

"I, the great Watanuki have surpassed you!"

"I was better from the start?"

"No, You Egotistical bastard!" He began to bicker. He shrugged, savoring lunch, giving him time to think about what to write.

"What did you write?" The girl of Watanuki's affections had asked

"A poem" Watanuki answered the unlucky girl thoughtfully.

"Must have been good,"

"I'll show you next time Himawari-chan!" his tone brightened. If only he could make the boy happy like that. He doubted that with the coming week.

If he could see spirits, which he knew he couldn't do, could he see her? It rained, warm and heavy. He felt humid in his kimono with all the lights turned down. Like that night. He never had felt the absence of loneliness as much as less than 3 years ago. He hadn't handled it with the uncareful, wallowing in your guilt, hadn't done anything to express the pain. He was bottle up, ready to explode like a wild animal or have a Watanuki-ish fit. He drank, that one night.

Would it help if I turned a sad song on  
"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

_**The witch invited him privately, he felt comfortable, his hair still shaggy and wet after bathing from the dry blood. Watanuki still needed sleep and as long as he lived, he could breathe again. He sat down, feeling less suffocated and not as buoyant. He didn't show weakness to anyone.**_

"_**Would you like to drink with me?" she asked calmly, a business smile upon her lips ticked lips. What was the occasion? We have saved Watanuki once again!, yay?**_

"_**It helps, everyone I know and love face death everyday-I have nothing to do but 't I drink away my troubles?" she whispered. She was in her senses as a drunk, so had he?He took the sake cup gingerly, drowning the warm alchohol down with a hearty gulp. The good thing about the witch's sake was that it was quite trusted, she refilled his cup and he lost count of how much he had drank. He felt the sting of hot moisture and cold cheeks. To hell with his pride. This was the most serious accident that had occurred. **_

_**To hell with it! Tonight, he was going to cry, with only the residents of the shop as his audience as Watanuki snoozed in bed…**_

**I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry**

**I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry**


	8. Half the time let the facade be ending

It's you I value

A/N: _**Hi my pretties! Sorry! I've been so caught up in Trafalgar, Twilight, exams! High school is going to be worse! I had an advantage of writing this in the summer but I hope you guys' stick with me! //Well if there are any fans. I'm sick of getting twilight alerts! Ok, the only yaoi pairing of Twilight and you all go crazy! There are only 6 fics though… Turned 13 few weeks ago! Read Trafalgar and the Star crossed Hilarity k. I've decided to update a bit at a time or my story will go haywire with multiple plot twists on the wrong stories (Aka Promise the world that nothing could go wrong) So Read!Plenty of dirty progress…**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own triple X, Dare you to move by Switch foot, or love remains the same by the lead singer of Bush. **_

Chapter 8

Half the time the world is ending Truth is that Watanuki's in love and pretending

_**  
A thousand times I've seen you standing  
gravity like a lunar landing  
make me want to run till I find you  
shut the world away from here, drift to you, you're all I hear  
everything we know fades to black  
**_

Everybody felt it, but he wanted to keep the feeling to himself –the rush, excitement that rose within him. How could he possibly _**know **_that it was that verse that triggered the memory of him and Yuki? When she educated his taste on American music. How could he possibly the half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending

_**I never thought that I had any more to give  
pushing me so far here I am without you  
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made  
everything will change, love remains the same find a place where we escape  
take you with me for a space  
a city bus that sounds just like a fridge  
walk the streets through seven bars  
I had to find just out where you are  
the faces seen to blur they're all the same  
ink of that on his own?**_

'Welcome to the planet  
Welcome to existence  
everyone's here

Everybody's watching you now  
everybody waits for you now  
what happen next.

I dare you to move  
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

Welcome to the fallout  
Welcome to resistance  
the tension is here

Between whom you are and whom you could be  
between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell  
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell  
where you could run to escape from yourself.  
Where you going to go?

Salvation is here. I dare you to move  
like today never happened-  
Today never happened before.

Half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I had any more to give  
you're pushing me so far here I am without you  
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made  
everything will change, love remains the same.'

Everybody rose from his or her seats to applaud wildly. He restrained himself from applauding. He wouldn't be seen anyway as tall as he was. Watanuki's English had been pronounced impressively. He suspected the witch of helping him with this. She seemed the type. He was grateful that his performance was a day away. He'd have to tune his guitar for tomorrow. The rules hadn't restricted song writing, infect-they should have known that Watanuki's work was just grammar corrected copyright, it was worse if he entered an international contest-he'd be flamed and arrested. Clueless through it all. Oh, but Doumeki wasn't being competitive, he was trying every alternative to be kicked out. Even after, he trashed the outdoor set up 2 hours before the performance. He wasn't just going to copyright, he'd take full credit. As dumb as it was, he overlooked the option of being arrested.

_**  
So much more to say, so much to be done  
don't you trick me out, we shall overcome  
cause our love stays ablaze  
**_

"So Doumeki-kun, what did you think of Watanuki-kun's performance?" The fat professor turned his head to ask the sullen teenager. Watanuki was getting shotgun in advance of his perfect verses and his dislike of sitting by Doumeki. Although you could tell that even though Doumeki was simply behind him-that it didn't exactly give him peace of mind to have them reach out from the front windows towards him, or so the seer had said. The though only made him press his chest harder to the back of the looked down at him with a scowl but he knew how grateful he must have felt with the little gesture. He inclined his head, slouching on his elbows, pressing his ear to the armrest as Watanuki stiffened, he started to answer.

"Great English."

That erupted the floodgate.

"Good English. That's all?! I practiced two weeks for this and all you have to say is GOOD ENGLISH?!" He'd never heard Watanuki so hysterical over extra-homework. He pressed his free finger in the other hear. Still hearing with the ear pressed against the leather armrest. Feeling the annoying vibrations of a coming migraine thanks to Watanuki's complaining. He always wondered if this boy was raised as a prick, although alone. What did he do for Watanuki to have to dislike him?

_**  
we should have had the sun  
could have been inside  
instead we're over here**_

half the time the world is ending, truth is I am done pretending  
too much time to love defending, you and I are done pretending

"Here." Watanuki's head swerved in surprise. It was unlike Doumeki to leave him to walk home, especially at this time of night. The professor seemed to have similar thoughts.

"Doumeki-kun, are you sure your going to leave Watanuki-kun to walk home at this hour? It isn't quite safe. He turned around to retrieve his bag. In addition, grunted.

"No, what are you doing standing there like an idiot? Come on." The first sentence Watanuki had ever heard Doumeki utter. He was harshly yanked off from his lap belt and pulled to the chill of the late night.

"What are you doing?!" I hissed out. My face felt hot, Embarrassed from how crest fallen he'd been inside when he thought Doumeki wasn't going to escort him from the spirits. There had been none in sight. Not even in the corners.

"I can manage." I answered quite truthfully; he'd just have to sprint to the apartment and presto…

Doumeki's grip tightened. His amber eyes glowing like streetlights.

"Stay." He heard stubbornly. His mouth almost dropped from hearing the emotion in his voice. Almost like the one, he'd allowed in the poem. Yukon had helped him with it, he was moved by the words but they didn't feel his. The car had already driven away and he hadn't realized the deep look he'd been given until his grip released and he walked away. The creatures lurked. In addition, he sped off into the temple. He almost thought he saw a flicker of a smile on the archer's features in the oil lamp's light, but it must have been a trick._****_

I never thought that I had any more to give  
you're pushing me so far here I am without you  
drink to all that we have lost, mistakes that we have made  
everything will change, everything will change

At Dinner-for extreme cuisine made by the great seer, he knew that Watanuki felt rigid and cold in his sweaty uniform-and he knew that Watanuki sweat when he was nervous for his performance. He walked away from the small coffee table to retrieve an old kimono of his. When he came back, Watanuki held a dish of hot steaming vegetables and a bemused looking Watanuki. He dumped it on the table; the small thud drew attention to himself as Watanuki glared at him.

"Moron, you don't leave clothes on the dinner table." He noticed he weak trembled of Watanuki's limbs. He set the stir-fry on the coffee table before pushing the navy yukata into his arms.

"For you." He corrected himself, pushing his wrists together into the tall sleeves of his kimono. He humped and stomped into the other room. In the meantime, he set the rest of the table up to be nice. Pulling out two disposable chopsticks, he wondered if Watanuki liked taking his sweet time. He walked soundlessly to his chamber, the door creaked silently and he poked his head in. He encountered the pale bare back of Watanuki Kimihiro. He held the blue cloth of the formal clothing in his hands. Glancing at the downcast blue of his eyes, his eyes looked clouded with a drunkenness of light thoughts. His hands shook. Memories of his fall echoing.

His broken bloody body.

The hot sting of tears and burning alcohol in his throat.

The restraint that he was fed when he realized he couldn't do anything before Himawari received his scars.

He strode into the room. Watanuki was well aware, but didn't seem to care. His waist was held to the archer's own. Digging their desires together. He kissed Watanuki hard, and the seer's arms encircled their hands. His eyes drooped closed, and he invited the warm of Doumeki's body when he had been kissed. His eyebrows knitted almost to his hairline when he felt Doumeki's crotch on his through the thin fabric of his uniforms pants but stayed closed, squinting in pleasure. He couldn't bring his hands to tear Doumeki's away-no, not Doumeki.

Shizuka.

The god that he titled his head to, the deepening of the exchanging of lips. He pulse thudded to his chest against Shizuka's own. The deepening had triggered something within the other, because his pants were easing off his hips, and he knew that Doumeki could see his mess. It all disappeared too quickly, and his eyes fluttered, his tongue out and face hot. His legs trembled and all he saw was Doumeki retrieving his uniform and –boxers. They were dirtied with semen. He looked down and used to kimono to shield his naked body. That couldn't have happened so quickly could it? He stumbled, cum sliding down the insides of his thighs, down to his toes…

He saw the ashen face of Shizuka before he disappeared._****_

Oh, I  
this could last forever  
oh, I  
we could last forever

'That's one way to relieve sexual tension.' The words could have echoed in his own ears. After the 2 years, he'd known Watanuki he had only intended to steal a kiss from the seer, but accomplished much more. He hadn't factored that pulling him to his height would result to such. Pleasure.

He turned around to knock politely this time. Watanuki's reddened face met his, wearing his old navy yukata.

"Let me get you some boxers." The words tumbled out of my lips as I went to retrieve some. The reminder sent Watanuki into a full-scale blush. He was tossed some tight shorts on him and closed the door.

The reminder of lost dinner made him warm the stir-fry again. They ate a quite awkward dinner. The question he was asked gave him another painful memory.

"A-are we still sleeping in the same room tonight?" He was asked quickly from Watanuki.

His heart ached in reminder. _****_

Love remains the same  
love remains the same


	9. Ctaching and falling

It's you I value

Chapter 9

Catching and falling

"No." He told the downcast girl quitely. Her bleached long hair whipped up with small teary eyes. Mouth pressed in a white line, bbiting back the anguish that she didn't want to say. He knew that look in many girls, they saved their pride through the dissapointment of being rejected by Doumeki Shizuka. Try as she might, she surprised him by talking back.

"Is there someone else?"

Heis reply was silnce.

"There is right?"

He nodded no in answer.

"Your just looking for the perfect girl aren't you?" She said sarcastically, her expression promising violence.

"No, I'm not interested in anybody."

"Then your gay!"

He knew she did not mean that as an insult.

"No." He said slowly, cruelly.

"I'm not."

"Well with that fucked up attitude your giving you won't have anybody! You LOW BASTARD!" a soft punch was landed on his cheek and the bob of blonde hair disappeared. He nursed his cheek mildly, it just stinged.

"Hey can I have her? She's cute." Yuki arose from the shadows with her monotonous expression. Pulling down her uniform's skirt for the 17th time that day. He knew she was trying to cheer him, but with the slaps from her victims he received not to long ago, he wouldn't hold it against her.

There was just silence. He was stunned into silence once more, like when Yuki had first approached him. She was his house guest for the time being. The dismissal bell rang. They were oblivious to have skipped the last period of the day to deal with the confession. Yuki grabbed their school bags so they wouldn't be questioned to where they were or why they were walking together. He looked at her shiny short black hair and her brown neck., her curves which she called her proportions to large for her age. Something about a khappa…?

"I can feel my neck burning. Are you glaring at me?" He looked away.

"Muucch better."

It was very late at night. He invited himself in, a habit he had yet to correct because of the numerous times he'd walked in on her. She didn't seem to care though.

Infact, she was asleep on the futon, an afghan covering her from the shoulder down. She wore a western like crimson yukata with mock cartoons of geishas and rainbows.

Her golden brown skin alight in the dark room, a pale bronze. Her black hair still tremendously straight.

Curiously, he rose the afghan and saw that the flaw with that was that the ++obi was loose, thus revealing her big stomach and green panties, she wore no bra, he realized how big her bust was. She must wear sports bras daily.

"Ok, What the hell are you doing peeping at allah knows what time in the morning." She sluggishly turned over, covering herself fully with the warm blanket.

She went to bed with her hair wet. He felt the hot moisture of the pillow. One of these days she was going to be sick.

"I want to sleep with you." He didn't know how those words formed and passed his mouth. Was he a lunatic. His arms were like bars on either side of her.

"No, you don't." she stated firmly. Her narrowed eyes straed at me. "Ok, then. Why?" She asked sarcastically.

"Because I like you. I'll prove it-"

"You just want to prove yourself."

"Prove what?" he sounded hopeless in his own words.

"That what the girl said is a lie. That you can never find the perfect _girl." _

"What's that supposed to mean?" He sat up, removing his arms. She propped herself on her elbow.

"That I know you _do _like somebody and that all the questions she asked you had trick answers or vice versa. There is somebody else-that you like. And yes, you are gay."

"…Are we still sleeping in the same toom tonigth?"

"Sure." Her head fell back to her pillow. He tucked himself in with her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She had no protest. He couldn't help it. He cried softly in her hair, already wet with hot water. She was awake, and they both knew it.


	10. Move Along Before it's too late

It's you I value

Chapter 10

Even when your hope is gone move along

Watanuki awoke with an odd rush of vertigo. A guitar strummed nearby but far away. Shizukai had disappeared from the other side of the room. He couldn't quite match the singer and the guitar player as the deep voiced archer.

**_(Go_****_ ahead and waste your days with thinking  
when you fall everyone stands  
another day and you've had your fill of sinking  
with the life held in your...  
Hands are shaking cold  
these hands are meant to hold)_**

The lyrics were English. Curiously, he arose and stumbled soundlessly to the sound of rock music being played. It was Shizuka for that matter, he sat on the porch of the temple, singing and strumming away to the green garden before him. His face heated in astonishment. His voice was so....

**_(Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong  
Move along, move along like I know ya do  
And even when your hope is gone  
Move along, move along just to make it through  
Move along  
Move along-)_**

..Different. There was a brief pause, and a new melody followed. Calm and modern, slow and right for his deep voice.

****He felt a panging. He clearly knew what this song was about and felt his throat go thick.

It had stopped and the guitar was put down.

"You can come out now." His blush heartened, that had been happening often.

There was an awkward silence as he came out of hiding, followed by a sigh.

"I know you can read English but do you...understand it?"

"What? Ofcourse I do! I'd be flunking High school if I didn't-"

"Then why'd u copyright those songs? That's criminal." He felt insulted. He. _Copyrighted? _As if in, plagiarized? Well that was the witch for you...

"Was that song about...never mind?" He dropped the subject, he wasn't being reprimanded for it so they enjoyed the silence before Shizuka's stomach growled and Watanuki scowled.

"Didn't bother to fix yourself something..." he muttered quietly as he stomped to the kitchen.

This felt weird to Shizuka. He must have corrupted Watanuki so much last night that he was being polite. Time to insert bad manners.

"Oi, can we have waffles?" He asked loudly from where he sat. Shouting was heard from the kitchen.

"WHAT IS WITH YOU AND MAKING MY LIFE HELL!!!" He smiled a little sadly, that part was true enough.

He couldn't even begin to imagine how the seer felt after being touched that way.

"-and Orange juice." He ducked in to drink straight from the carton, followed by a fretting teen with bi colored eyes.

"You don't drink straight from the carton you jerk! That's bad manners and unsanitary!" He looked at Watanuki as if he didn't give a damn. The seer huffed and turned away.

"You can get ready now, the car'll be here in a few." He overlooked the clock.

"Huh?" The seer looked at him dumbly.

"The oratorical performance."

That seemed to remind him.

"Hmph!Why do I have to come to _your _performance."

"Cause this was forced on me and you'll find a deep meaning in the song."

"Your allowed that?" He raised his eyebrows. They never had factored songwriting, but then again, cause of Yuuko it would lead to his demise.

"Doumeki-" Shizuka. He inwardly chanted

"How come you know those English songs?"

He'd never seen the amber-eyed brown-haired person so hesitant to answer. He looked up a little stronger.

"A friend knew it." That tone signaled a danger zone and he nodded, walking away to change.

If you could bleach black pants with only black that was how clean Watanuki could describe his pants to be. No reminders from last night that he hadn't been unwilling...he discarded those thoughts as he pulled them on. Mentally shaking away his discomfort.. He pulled his shirt over his head and finger combed through his hair until it felt safe. Shizuka wasn't vain enough for mirrors, but it was quite unhelpful.

An amp and Guitar bass set at the mouth of the entrance they strangely reminded him of him and Shizuka's friendship.

Doumeki was the bass, smooth and deep. Watanuki was the amp that magnified it, sometimes it blared, sometimes it silenced though together, nync. Like the detachment, he was from his body when he kissed Shizuka back. He wasn't planning to inform Shizuka of the inward name change. It felt so different to call him disrespectfully. His stomach did little flips of their own when he imagined eating across Doumeki again. He inhaled deeply and sat across Doumeki on the coffee table. The waffles he cooked were being devoured by him. That set me off greatly.

"You could've waited for me!"

"And then be told that I shouldn't have."

"Well-" He spluttered for a way to keep the temple brat talking. Apparently, there were many danger zones he didn't want to fall into.

"What's the name of the song?"

"It's a little weird.."

"Come on tell me!" He smiled, he liked the tenor of his voice, and Shizuka hadn't realized the emotional changes in tone and voice lately. His face started to mimic it as well.'

"(Before it's too late) by the...Goo-goo Dolls." He blinked.

"Wow, that is strange. He grasped for a gentle way to phrase his question because he knew the answers to the real ones.

"It must've been good. That journal entry."

"It was supposed to be private. Teachers like poking into my work." Watanuki made a face.

"Not everybody gets the luck you do you lucky bastard. Some would kill to be entered into a capital state oratorical competition." Shizuka didn't look like he wanted to hear who.

"Like you?"

"Shut up!"

"He lied about that too."

"Don't change the subject!" He was in the mood fro a good fight.

Unfortunately, for him, a car horn beeped. Watanuki bit into the plain waffles, taking some in his mouth. Shizuka raised a brow, but hadn't questioned it.

He wanted him to eat. Watanuki picked up the electric guitar in it's plastic casing as Shizuka carried the amp on his shoulder. A smile bit at the corners of his lips, Shizuka was trembling and struggling.

"You aren't going to help him?" the professor asked lightly. He shrugged. He sat in the back this time, not so bothered to sit by Shizuka. Instead, he walked straight to the first seat. He was a little frustrated. He was putting up with A LOT. All the temple brat was doing was distancing himself away from the seer. His heart sank.

"Good luck Doumeki-kun." The professor waved them off. He was getting coffee and being awful subtle about it, like it wasn't anticipated.

They were surprised that such a full outdoor performance had been packed was nearly empty. Being early made a difference. Shizuka was scheduled first to present. There was a phone with numbers and people to call written in English.

Shizuka dialed away and spoke some English.

"We'll be practicing, do what you want till then."

Watanuki grumbled away as he sat where the audience was intended unfolding the white foldable chair. He relaxed on it. Watching jealously as a blonde man with equally bright blue eyes and a buff tan man with red eyes and spiky hair-Fai and Kurogane. By the way conversed, he could tell they were alternates. There wasn't the secretive defense in their eyes that they usually seemed to possess when in other worlds and with familiar people.

They mostly talked. Shizuka air guitaring the chords to Kurogane and the garment-eyed man nodded sharply like taking on a great honor.

Fai failed whistling horribly as he concentrated on the beats and whatnot he was instructing Fai. This was a side of Shizuka that Watanuki had never seen. He observed keenly, a little meek. They finally began to practice and it gained speed as it was played slowly, the way it was intended and rich. They looked bored with the slow melody but seemed to have the least bit of fun with it. He felt like a teenage girl crushing over her favorite boy band-except that wasn't the case.

By the second time they practiced, people started to file in beside him. They didn't sit but stood. He noticed the boys and girls divided. He was the only one sitting down.

**_I wonder through fiction to look for the truth  
Buried beneath all the lies  
And I stood at a distance  
To feel who you are  
Hiding myself in your eyes_**

And hold on before it's too late  
We'll run til we leave this behind  
Don't fall just be who you are  
It's all that we need in our lives****

They were all slow dancing. He even saw some men brave enough to dance together! He was surprised to see a short girl stand by him. 4"11 with short smooth black hair that looked like the cat girl he encountered except for her brown skin and bright brown eyes that looked a shade lighter than the Japanese. Her eyes were big and he could tell she wasn't Asian. Her curves were a little more defined for girls her age that they rivaled Yukon's. She watched Shizuka sing with a smile that didn't look lovesick at all, but with longing and pride.

"Hi." She smiled, greeting him in Japanese.

"Hi." He answered nervously back.

"I'm Shizuka's friend-Yuki. He's really good up there isn't he?"

" you two...?" She shook her head, not with her shoulders sagged or hate in her eyes. She was truly his friend. He inhaled deeply. He idea he had made him regret before he asked.

"Would you like to dance?" She looked taken aback, but accepted with an awkward smile at the corners of her lips. Monsters creeped in the corner of my vision ,I gulped.

"Back off he's mine!" she said to no none in particular in mock humor. Was he that obvious?

**_Hold on before its too late  
We'll run til we leave this behind  
Don't fall just be who you are  
It's all that we need in our lives_**

So live like you mean it  
Love til you feel it  
It's all that we need in our lives  
So stand on the edge with me  
Hold back your fear and see  
Nothing is real til it's gone

"Are you coming from.." He asked a little uncertainly. She looked Indian enough.

"Well...Let's just say someplace only you know." She whispered with a wink she gave him and at Shizuka.

**_And hold on before its too late  
We'll run til we leave this behind  
Don't fall just be who you are  
It's all that we need in our lives_**

And hold on before its too late  
We'll run til we leave this behind  
Don't fall just be who you are  
It's all that we need in our lives

He looked at her quizzically vaguely wondering if Shizuka could get jealous, or if that he would recognize him and Yuki in all the ring of dancers.

**_It's all that we need in our lives  
it's all that I need in my life_**

All the contestants tore away from their partners to shout and cheer fro Doumeki.

"One more!" they chanted. He felt all awkward, slow dances were a pain in the ass, but that was because nobody offered to dance with him.

"He can't know I'm here. Ja ne! Thanks for the dance this very fine night!" she whispered as she escaped. Her party shirt ruffling as she sprinted toward an escape.

"Your welcome!" he replied loud enough so she could hear in her escaping proximity. People looked at him condescendingly and looked to groups of people to whisper.

Was his slow dancing with a foreigner like Yuki so catching? He didn't notice Shizuka stomp down and run at him, catching his wrist in a vice grasp.

"Ow!Let-" Amber eyes glared down at him. He started to hear what they were saying.

'Did you see that weirdo? He was dancing with nobody! Not even a GUY.' Similar quotes were mockingly exchanged around him.

"What was it?" he regarded his female best friend as an _it? _

"I didn't know." Watanuki whimpered to himself, his wrist bruising.

".it?" He asked more threateningly.

"I can't tell you." He managed to admit softly.

He was kissed rashly, rougher than last time. His wrist staying bolted to the back of Shizuka's head. He painfully tugged him up, carefully avoiding their pleasure spots. He crushed their lips together more firmly. Tears forming in his closed eyes.

Was he the only one that noticed that a female was singing? He tore his lips away to see Yuki singing blindly into the microphone. No one could hear except for Watanuki. His tears ran faster. When she noticed that Fai and Kurogane weren't playing with her and that she sang tonelessly without the instruments. Her sweet voice turned to a sob as she buried her face in her hands, tears leaked through her fingers. She shook with her sobs.

"Look at me." Shizuka stated angrily. He was harshly grabbed to look at the shiny gold of Shizuka's eyes.

"Look at her." He looked to the empty spot before the microphone where Yuki occupied the space. She sang again with teary smiles and weak laughs that shook the verses.

"Look at Yuki."

"Look at the pain she's in." He reluctantly fell out of the archer's embrace. As he ran to console the coffee-skinned singer, that Shizuka could not see...


	11. Eplogue I

**Epilogue I : With you I got everything**

**He untangled himself from me. Disheveled and emotional. SO was Yuki, at least he thought. Both bawling. And people were **_**staring **_**. Oh dear. Snot trailed down his nose to the side of his mouth, I bunched up my sleeve. Almost theatrically, the seer ran for the hills. The bystanders laughed. Murmuring "homo' 'ghost boy' all the taunts directed throughout his high school life. The Doumeki fisted his knuckles and glared like an angry ball of fire. Invisibly, he was sure Yuki **_**was **_**doing something. He could almost see her and hear her explosion.**

I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everythings nothing without you  
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

Through it all, I made my mistakes  
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

"**You think this is FUNNY?!" she punched the guffawing boy in the mouth. He faltered not. Guardian angels weren't meant to abuse. **

"**Shut the fuck UP!" she clutched at her head. Imitating the tightened closed eyes and trail of snot. Although they held no resemblance, he saw a cloned breakdown of the bi colored teen re-acted throughout the Muslim girl. He never liked it when she cried, and he still felt old feelings from previous.**

**Kurogane trotted stubbornly giving the metaphorical 'evil eye'. Fai's eyes dangerously threatening. People looked away shamingly, and justice was brought on.**

I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go

**"Thanks." I said, somewhat awed. The corded guitar player nodded, an jerked a chin in indication to what he said next.**

"**No prob. Just fix the problems." And not just for Kimihiro. Yuki's puffy eyes shone. Aged and grateful.**

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt  
Pieces of memories fall to the ground  
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you  
**"Let's go home." He looked right at her. She looked stumped and followed him. The cool pals of her human days forever still cooling his warm. Something static went through him. Forgetting about Watanuki, he lustfully called for a taxi. The angel staring at him strangely. His pants grew tight at the face.**

All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go  
I've come to an end

**They say an angel's wrath can cause great turmoil. And it does.**

I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go

**She hugged her knees to her perpetrated developed chest. Biting at her swollen lips to keep from bawling again. He had been so hurt, and she gave him what he wanted. Cause she did too. She gazed at the live Asian boy. The blankets soaked in a fluid she was sure was not sweat and the flushed and changed face of Shizuka. An aged Muslim man stood in the darkness. I hid my face. Mohammed. I thought ashamedly.**

"**I will bestow you into the fifth hell-but I will give you a chance to make things right." He said in Arabic.**

"**Until then." He faded into the shadows.**

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you don't know what you're looking to find  
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)

**She used a cleaner yukata as she strolled away and to Watanuki.**

I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everythings nothing without you

"**I gotta go." I told him hurriedly with big eyes and psychotic smile. I knew what we thought. I was hurting him.**

"**And I can't come back." I rambled.**

"**So make things right-" was all I was permitted when Mohammed himself took me away**

I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go (I want you to know)  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go

_**AN: To all those who don't know., in Muslim religion, our prophet goes by the name Mohammed. Sex with anyone outside of the culture is untolerated, and as an angel-must be virgin and follows the old fashioned laws accordingly-profanity is mild, but every little thing counts. The wrath was telling Watanuki-so let the flames begin.**_


	12. Epilogue II

**Epilogue II: Last man standing**

A/N:  Ok, first things first. This has grown WAY out of proportion. It just came to me. On my vacation, I wrote two alternate chapters for last chapter-face it. It's almost over, and thank you all for your wonderful compliments and comments on this story. I'm not as skilled as the other writers and I got OOC. I'm glad I will bestow some sense, less grammatical errors, and review to this declaration-I have found love, and faced hardships for who I am and whom I loved. He still overlooked the errors in me and accepted me-and I still feel the acid in my veins from the consequences of religion and broken promises. Last chapter reflected what my life would be like had I pursued my love. Songs used for epilogues so far were with me by sum 41 and alibis by Marianas Trench and Heart in a headlock by Imogen Heap. I'll stop ranting-so read!

_Distant flickerings __It's greener scenery,  
This weather's bringing it all back again.  
Great adventures,  
Faces in condensation,  
I'm going outside to take it all in_

**The neighboring townspeople congratulated him pridefully. Ignoring the deep red bruises under his eyes, and rings of insomnia. His lack of even nodding to them accented his pitiful state. He should have expected this. He knew this was going to happen. No amount of praying was going to save someone who was already dead and granted an opportunity to right their self. He'd taken advantage of that.**

_You say "too late to start got your heart in a headlock",  
I don't believe any of it.  
You say "too late to start with your heart in a headlock",  
You know you're better than this._

_**Her metaphorical unbeaten heart sped rapidly. His mouth pressed into a dry line to wet his lips. His hands were clammy at her sides. Her wide brown eyes widened as so, that it resembled her sockets fighting to exit the paces.**_

"_**Please." He lead huskily, begging for relief in her. He grew a hard on that he almost got the other night. When one door closes another one opens. He thought.**_

_**He saw her rigid jaw, poised and prepared to say no, but she didn't. Something spoke to him that interpreted defeat. He pressed his lips to hot dry skin of her chest on the low cut shirt. She bit the inside of her cheek. He was too forgone to care to hear her confirmation or if he should be disappointed that she didn't want this. **_

_**He pinned her wrists to the wall above the futon he had pushed her in. Before discarding the shirt hiding her developed chest.**_

_Wear a different pair,  
Just something out of step,  
Throw a stranger an unexpected smile.  
With big intention,  
Still posted at your station,  
Always on about the day it should have flied._

You say "too late to start got your heart in a headlock",  
I don't believe any of it.  
You say "too late to start with your heart in a headlock",  
You know you're better than this.  
(how can you lose?) Afraid to start, got your heart in a headlock, I don't believe any of it.  
You say "too late to start with your heart in a headlock",  
You know you're better than this.

"_**Shizuka!" she choked as expertly his tongue nearly entered her navel. He did so again, using his fingers prodding the fabric of her entrance. Everything he did scalded her, her tears fell faster down her discomforted and unready. He trailed his mouth down to her tears. Draining the sorrow on is lips. He discarded the fabric on her lower half, pressing the tear stained lips to the intimate part. Her knees came down at the sides of his head. Temporarily leaving him dizzy he began frenching her down there. Clearly she knew what he wanted as she pulled down his fabric covered lower half. He grew excited. Literally. Right down there. Her resolve dissipated as he positioned himself. Her knees grew to wrap around his abdomen, pulling him inside her. She gasped out.**_

'_**I'm going to cavernous by the time he's done with me.' **_

_You've been walking,  
You've been hiding,  
And you look half dead half the time.  
Monitoring you, like machines do,  
You've still got it I'm just keeping an eye_.

_**Heat rose within them as orgasm approached. At last. He was done.**_

_You've been walking,  
You've been hiding,  
And you look half dead half the time.  
Monitoring you, like machines do,  
You've still got it I'm just keeping an eye._

_**Instantly, he was out like a light. Newly remembered, he thought of had been so stupid. He had done so wrong. Karma wasn't done. He woke up and she was gone. He spent hi time bawling for a grown man.**_

_You know you're better than this_

Can't make a start, got your heart in a headlock,  
but I don't believe any of it.  
You say "too late to start, with your heart in a headlock",  
You know you're better than this.

(how can you lose?) Afraid to start, got your heart in a headlock,  
I don't believe any of it.  
You say "too late to start, with your heart in a headlock",  
You know you're better than this.

**It didn't help when he decided to invite Watanuki and all he got was a slap in return. The two said nothing as he stared coldly at the blank archer. Enraged. Slowly, he backed away, unaware of the stairs.**

"_**Shizuka!" **_**He must have got what he deserved, but he clearly didn't remember a gory mess.**

**Maybe that wouldn't explain why a pressure was n his arm and a face inches away, painfully clear. Suffering from the dream that was his love's existence.**


	13. Epilogue III

**Epilogue III: Alliby me**

A/N: Here's the ending! Allibis by Marianas Trench!

**Shizuka groped for the sweaty girl in the futon-she was gone.**

**His movements faltered, staring empty, and almost lifelessly at the other**

**end of the fabric. All that was sight was the black nylon guitar bag for the**

**gibson SG special guitar, it was Yuki's dream guitar. His eyes burned,**

**but no tears fell. he heaved himself up, alert and enraged. He unzipped it**

**and raised the heavy instrument above the crate. He hesitated, seeing it**

**was the same surface where the unborn egg was kept.**

**Watanuki.**

**His mind caught up with him, and with shaky notions, he lowered the guitar **

**and sat down. Stroking it wordlessly. The Nationals. Maybe Watanuki would **

**be there, he thought somberly. **

**The June like weather the day before yesterday- was nothing like the beginnings of **

**Novembre frigidness. Apparently-as of April first on the radio-they declared teh forecast**

**as heat stroke worthy. However, the intelligent beings knew first hand that it wasn't the first **

**time they 'April fooled' their viewers. Watanuki was of the unfortunate few, having sprinted**

**to the public fast enough to not notice the frost and cool winds. **

**Now he was rubbing his hands together in the bleachers of the school where-in honour **

**of Shizuka's brilliant poetry to perform one last time. he blew hot visible air into his bare palms.**

**"Watanuki-kun!" the cobalt eyed seer jumped, startled at the chill soft hand of Kunogi **

**Himawari on his shoulder.**

**"Himawari-chan?" he asked muzzily.**

**"I was looking for you! isn't this such an honour? I heard he sounds great! What do**

**you think about his singing?" I struggled for some rude retort but stared blankly**

**pressing my lips in a tight line of concentration.**

**"He sounds..." I saw the spotlights of the outdoor auditorium dim, soft electric guitars playing**

**from an assitant band like last time-except of the same age.**

**Shizuka was nowhere in sight.**

**"Sounds..." I struggled with a haze, she smiled kindly, waiting impatiently. I remember the **

**intensity in his amber eyes when he sang (Before it's too late.) I met her hazel eyes, prepared to answer **

**mindlessly when guess who appears with a hauntingly cheery and sad tune. His eyes closed.**

_'From the scrapes and bruises_

_To the familiar abuses_

_I'll kick and scream but it never changed anything'_

**I giggled wholeheartedly. His amber eyes opened at the sound of my tearing laughter. The students**

**scowled, one daring to thwack him over the head. I pouted angrily, and Shzikua smiled dazzlingly **

**like his grandfather as he sang. it wasn't funny hearing his voice (knowing it full well that**

**he didn't have the voice for his song.) It..sopunds like who we are when we were **

**together.**

_'I could spill my guts out_

_Wearing my best little girl pout_

_And I almost missed it_

_But nobody said that this was gonna be easy'_

_'This is not the man I hoped to be_

_And I'm just trying to stop the bleeding_

_I don't know how to word it_

_I just started to deserve it_

_And all my, all my faces are alibis_

_And me, I'm half the man I wanted to be'_

**I scowled in understanding, my eyes burning, growing fuzzy.**

_'Most times it all comes out wrong _

_I don't know the words but I'll hum along _

_There's nothing famillar here anymore_

_to anyone or anything left to feel alive'_

**I wordlessly grasped Himawari's hand for support. Her eyes shone with concern in the faux lighting.I ignored her. **

_'And I still taste that sickness_

_And it makes me crazy without it at best_

_But I'm in the same place I used to be_

_But I'm trying harder not to be'_

_'This is not the man I hoped to be_

_And I'm just trying to stop the bleeding_

_I don't know how to word it_

_I just started to deserve it_

_And all my, all my faces are alibis_

_And me, I'm half the man I wanted to be'_

**I looked up at him, he looked down at me, startling me with his pitch and unseen expression.**

_So what am I? What am I? So What Am I?_

**The girls glared, the guys leered, and kunogi silently cheered.**

_'And all my, all my faces are Alibis_

_This is not the man I hoped to be_

_And I'm just trying to stop the bleeding_

_I don't know how the words go_

_I just started not to say no'_

_'Don't want it, Don't get it_

_I know you won't regret it_

_Don't surface, Don't surface_

_And I feel so damned worthless_

_Another day is gone and all my faces are alibis_

_all my faces are alibies'_

_'and me, I'm half the man I wanted to be'_

**There was a sound, muffled and hidden. the clicking of boots, and a mock siren. Watanuki fell into the crowd that convulsed forward to the stadium to cheer maddeningly. He walked backwards, feeling ominous. the perfume of umeboshi clinged to his nostrils as he looked at the western version of Yuuko in a down jackets slash beige trenchcoat and knee high strappy heels, along with a hat making her look like a female japanese version of a westren 1900's detective. Her garment eyes met mine, and she leaned dopwn to whisper in my ear, manicured hands shoved in her pockets.**

**"I've settled Doumeki-kun's beef with the lawyers-but you may want to do the rest." she whispered humorously into my ear with her wise voice. She walked away, as i confusingly stood in the empty corridor(sp)?**

**The students were escorted by the strict more intelligent teachers as they filed past him. he recieved deliberate shoves and an improper violation of his ass. As the last of them walked away, he looked back to see the lit teacher excitingly gab to Doumeki on his perfection of lyrics, or atleast it looked like taht fropm afar. In a corner, he percepted a pair of white police officers and a tall black man balking. He swore colorfully. They loomed over Shizuka and the April fool jogged to the men.**

**"**Shizuka Doumeki, you are arrested for illegal copyright and _will _do time to make up for it." **they reported in English. knowing full well Shizuka was an avid interepreter of the second language. **

**"**Your lucky that woman battled us in court, or you would end up somewhere worse." **the man threatened in a jamaican accent, cracking his knuckles. The temple brat looked back at them with an unfazed expression. The lit teacher gaped at them in horror an stumbled away, all the while glaring at the amber eyed boy. I slowed.**

**"**_Done and Done." _**He mock sang with a smirk. The brown eyes of the black officer widened**, **shaking with self-control. He got thwaked witha fist and confronted Watanuki freezing up. I looked at **

**him angrily.**

**"Watanuki..." I fisted him in the face.**

**"That was for what you did to Yuki and leaving like a scumbag. Don't you have any shame?" he looked up with a garment fluid leaking from his nasal cavity. Perfectly unaffected. **

**"I recall you did the same."**

**" Yes, but why did **_**you **_**have to?" they handcuffed him, letting him speak to the seer. he was silent for some time before they eyed him warningly and then the temple boy rushed through his whisper.**

**"I don't know. to be with you." they shoved him by the scalp into the approaching vehicle's pen doors. Hollowly, I watched, mute with fright as the engine started. I snapped out of my**

**trance as the car crawled out onto the freeway.**

**"AISHITERU!" I cupped my hands around my mouth as I shouted, uncaring for once. My tears finally fell, and I saw a struggling head come out from the racing cuiser.**

**"I LOVE YOU TOO!" he hit his head off the top of the window before shove back in. I watched, now smiling smally with endless tears arun. He would be out soon, he knew it.**

**A/N: I'll probably post a oneshot for a u loved it!**


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